15 January 2009

Realizations

"One step at a time? Don't be ridiculous. I refuse to be so laid back. There isn't time for me to look at everything so closely. I only stop for things that I absolutely have to. There are no other exceptions. Through leaps and bounds I shall cover a distance that is impossible through mere steps. I wish to venture past the limits and boundaries set by those who failed all around the world. I wish to surpass everything and set my own limits." Said the boy sitting on the edge of the cliff.

"Then how long are you going to sit there on your end and keep talking about it? The way I see it, you're the one who's hindering your own path." Said the girl, standing a safe distance from the cliff edge while looking at the boy.

"You are indeed right. That is the reason why I hate myself. I hate my own inability to accomplish something I want to. I hate this ineptitude to move forward, even if it is one step at a time. If I don't leap, I won't move. I hate myself for being this way." replied the boy

"So what will you do about it. This part of you that you hate so much?" girl asked.

"If there was something that worked, I would not be sitting here as you said. If I had done nothing, I couldn't hate my inability could I? Because it meant that it might not be my own inability but rather my refusal to do something."

"You tried and failed and thus chose to just hate yourself?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you refused my love? Because you hate yourself?"

"To understand love is to first be able to love yourself. To love yourself is to be able to stop hating yourself."

"Stop giving me your cryptic answers. Just tell me."

"No. I cannot love you not because I hate myself. But rather because I know not how to love. I know not what is love. I do not understand this concept called love. Because I have no love for my own self."

"I remember these words passed down to me -

A heart does not know how to hate unless you teach it to
A heart doesn't know how to love unless it is taught to it

If you don't know how to love, why not let me teach you."

"I'd rather try to not hurt you than try something that isn't definite."

"That is already the first step to love my dear friend..." The girl smiled

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