Alone I wait,
Alone I stare.
Never putting on a single bait,
Just hoping for it to fall into my snare.

My eyes always searching,
My mind always thinking.
Where is my prey?
When will I be able to enter the fray?

It never dawned on me,
Because I already knew in me.
That as long as I wait baitless,
Regardless of my strength I am useless.

My arms never reaching,
Despite my heart's yearning.
My legs never moving,
Despite my soul's screaming.

Why is it do I keep waiting?
Why am I unmoving?
Why is it that all I do is yearn?
Why is it that I never learn?

All it takes is one step,
Spread my wings and give it a flap.
I could be moving at speeds,
where I can get all my needs.

Could be.
Is it not good enough?
why is it do I fear failure?
More so than I want to succeed?

If I don't try and fail,
Its because I didn't try.
But if I tried and failed,
It's because I wasn't good enough.

Am I scared of being weak?
Am I afraid of being less?
I want to attain what I seek,
Yet I fail to confess...

Life

There are many people whose lives are less than satisfactory, where even home is less of a sanctuary. There is someone I know whom is like that. Even if you ask me, why is life so screwed up?! I cannot answer fully. I can only give theories and guesses. My life, some would say isn't too bad. But I would like to differ. The state of someone's life isn't how others perceive it but how the person in question perceives it. I think my life is terrible. My life is full of inconsistencies, contradictions. It is riddled with lies and confusion. My life is nothing but empty. Even when I say this, I can't help but think. That the reason why my life is screwed is because I made it that way. There is someone I know, whose life is not very pleasant, not because of her own choices, but because it was god given. Is fate really that cruel? I'm afraid I can answer that. Yes. Fate is cruel. But because it is fate, it is but fate. We can't do anything about it. I made a mistake. A very cruel and sad mistake. I want to atone for it but I can't. Not with my current self I can't. I can't atone for the sin I had committed. So I will not ask for forgiveness. For that is beyond me. I don't want your pity. I don't need it.

One is tortured by others, another tortured by himself.
Are they really that different?
Or are they really similar to one another?

The circumstances are different.
Yet the feelings are the same.
Each wants to help the other.
But any efforts would be and have been in vain.

This is the life of two people. Me and a soulful another.

36 Heart

A dark substance,
Convulsing, undulating,
Constantly seeking space,
An unsightly fight.

A bright substance,
Expanding, compressing,
Constantly changing,
A beautiful pulse.


Reaching out, stretching.
Crying out, screaming.
Downpour, raining.
All that is left, nothing.