48 Free

Free.
What is it to be free?

I am born bound to this world.
Body mind and soul.
Limited by laws.
Restricted by rules.

What is it to be free?

I cannot fly.
Unable to breathe without air.
No matter how hard i try.
I can only fall into despair.

What is it to be free?

There are those who struggle.
Those that live in their own bubble.
There are those that are blessed.
Those that seek another's carress.

No matter who they are.
No matter where they are.
Are they not bound by the shackles they are borne in?
Are they not restricted by the rules and laws that bind them?

What is it to be free?

Is it freedom that we truly seek?

Is it freedom that will grant us happiness?

A turbulent wind

At times is a gentle breeze

With the same caress

 

It travels the world

Reaching places high and low

With the same caress

 

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When alone silent

With others a harmony

An impromptu tune

 

 Dancing in the air

Conducting a melody

As it sways about

47 Excuses

The sun shines through the forest canopy reaching the forest floor.
Rain flows through the rivers of leaves and branches into the soil.
Once again I stand in front of an imaginary door.
One which to open requires something more than mere toil.

The birds chirp calling their lovers,
The leaves rustle creating a song.
I stretch my hand intending to create wonders,
Knowing that I have waited for too long.

The trunks stand firm supported by buttress,
Crawling in deep and grabbing the ground with its roots.
But I have started fire without flints or matches,
Have walked forward without miracles or flukes.

The trees grow upwards spurred by its will to live,
The trees shed its leaves to be replaced by a fresher green.
Yet I hesitated to part and to give,
Yet I hesitated to appear and be seen.

A foreign scream permeated nature song,
An invasion chases away all.
Something unknown came along,
And broke down the protective wall.

With a creak and roar even the strong shall fall,
As these invaders take all they want.
As I suffered, a miracle I start to call,
For I have a wish I want it grant.

Would this pain not stop,
Would these tears continue to flow?
Off the cliff would it drop,
Or would it continue to grow?

Oh why,
Do you like to see me cry?
Oh why,
Do I continue to lie?

Now in front of this door a whole new world awaits.
Of pain or happiness I would not know which.
To enter requires a password.
Of true and honest words.
Would the door lead me to a world of joy>
Or would it lead me to more suffering?
But I know that as long as I don't open it,
I will continue to feel this anguish.
I know that as long as I don't walk through it,
I will not gain anything.

A gamble between great extremes.
If this was a story it's one of the greatest themes.

With the flow of time,
And the blowing wind,
The bells start to chime,
Its melody dim.

A pulse that accel.
A need to excel.
An increasing tempo.
A newly broken flow.

A stop that stopped.
A new anew.

The silence has been broken,
Yet there is nothing to listen.
Other than one's own melody,
An entire medley.

Hidden from the light, the path that is to walk.
Hidden in the dark, the path which need be followed.
Yet do we walk in the light, while looking in the dark?
Or do we walk in the dark, knowing that the path is somewhere?


What fools humans are
Pathetic, self serving, blind
Do not pity them

46 Contradictory

If upholding the law were to be strong,
Then to be opressed by it would be weak.

If casuality cannot be accepted,
Then normality is overrated.

The world is unable to be what it should be.
But all it needs be is exist.

Why do humans fight when they can love?
Because they were told to fight to love.

All these contradictions in life is a poetry,
Crafted in order to prove that life is not in equity.

The tale of who had lost two years...

I have experienced pain. Emotional, physical and spiritual. Sometimes I wonder, if I have been abandoned somewhere along the lines of fate. Other times I wonder if it was I who had abandoned all to fate. God is omnipotent and omniscient. And it is said that ones life has all been recorded by God, how it came about, and how it would be played out. So I thought, what if my current situation had also been thought of, and is nothing more than the mere fancy of God who had written my life to be so.
If I were like everybody else, I would be afraid, angry perhaps. And I might even fall into despair.
But I abolished that thought of falling into despair. Because that which knows my fate is not me but God and those that He has chosen to tell. I myself know not of what I would do or of what I would become. So I am not bound by that chain of fate that would tie me down to be what God wants me to be. Even if everything is but part of His great scenario, I would struggle and struggle. I should not be whimpering in the corner but I should be up fighting. Not against fate, not against the will of God. But I should be fighting as a living creature, fighting for what it is I choose to want to become. If I don't do anything, nothing will change. I thought I was enough and that it was enough but I was wrong. Nothing is ever enough. That is why people change and learn new things everyday. That is why creatures evolve. Because they are never enough as they were.

Here I am, fallen from that throne I had built for myself.
Here I am, having been betrayed by my own expectations.
Here I am, at the lowest rung of the ladder of failure.
Here I am, where I had wanted to be a long time ago.
But it is not where I am that matters anymore.
It is where I want to go.
I want to go up, beyond my throne.
I want to go up, without any limitations.
I want to go up, free from expectations.
I want to go up, beyond any measure.
I want to go up, to where I need to be.
I want to go up, to uphold my only responsibility.

And that which will take me there is my pride.
My pride as a living creature on this Earth.
And I would no longer be dependant on anything I cannot control.
Assumptions that has no backing will be dismissed.
Immaterial things that have no meaning will be left alone.

I was there once, on the path to success. But I was alone then. I was afraid, I felt insecure and wanted the support of others. But gaining others made me fall. I failed again and again. My judgment erred again and again. No more I said. Even if I were to be alone, I would succeed. Even if I have to succeed alone, I will make sure I do. Because in the end, I am alone. WIth my past experience, with my new found determination. With my strengthened will and pride, I shall go forth. Back into the venture I had wandered away from.